To sum up what I was trying to say yesterday, you need both.

To sum up what I was trying to say yesterday, you need both.

"You can do what you want when you’re married."

A phrase I hear often.

Growing up I haven’t really been restricted from doing many things. Generally speaking, British Asian parents are a lot stricter about what their daughters can and cannot do, compared to their sons. But that wasn’t the case with me, there are hardly any boys in our family, and education is of the utmost importance! So when my older cousins went to universities far away, and did pretty much anything to “broaden their experiences”, so could I.

You could say I’ve been lucky, maybe I am. But this isn’t something I think I should feel lucky about, because everyone should be able to do what they want, to some degree. I’m struggling to word what I’m thinking here.

However, despite being raised to strive to experience different things, and make the most of my opportunities, there are plenty of times when I get told, “You can do what you want when you’re married.”

I can imagine others hear this more frequently than I do.

It is absolutely not the case I can do what I want when I’m married. First of all, because I will have more responsibilities, which isn’t a bad thing. But they cannot be avoided. Secondly, because it is very rare for a woman to get married into another British Asian family and then do whatever she likes. There are the in-laws, and then there is the husband. And you just don’t know how that’s going to turn out. My mum got told the phrase ALL the time, and when she finally got married it certainly wasn’t the case she could do what she wanted. In fact, she had to do what she was told for so long, sometimes I’m not sure if she knows what she really wants.

You could say it’s different, and that times have changed. But right now, I still see young British Asian girls being restricted in so many ways. Maybe there are others who feel the same, but I can only speak from my own experiences.

I’m at a point in life now where I can either do exactly what is wanted and expected of me, and thus become a mindless automaton. Or I can go with the flow and do what makes me happy for now, but there will be consequences.

I think I’ll go with the latter option.

My Good Friend Baba Atman Singh Jee <3

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[o-raj-inal pic]

It was about a year ago when I met My Good Friend. I went to the Gurdwara in the late afternoon, and Babaji was giving parshad.

There aren’t many people at the Gurdwara during the weekday, and it makes me very sad. The amount of Sikhs living in our area, but none of them have the time. I may not have time when I’m working one day, but I’d rather not think of that yet. You gotta give it to the Elders though, there wouldn’t be a Gurdwara without them, they are the backbone. I often feel we’ve let them down, I wonder if they feel the same. I hope one day we can show them that their sacrifices have not gone to waste.

Anyhoo, I sat down in Darbar Sahib, and there was no one else there but the two of us. Babaji came right up to me and spoke to me. The first thing he said was, “Are you happy? You must never leave the Gurdwara sad, you should always leave happy”. After this came many things he shared, random anecdotes, life lessons, and so on.

I left the Gurdwara feeling extremely happy, and for many days afterwards I would see him regularly. But then came a time for me to leave when I was to go to university, and so I let him know. I saw him sometimes when I came home in the holidays, but not very often. Since I’ve moved back home I’ve managed to see him every now and then, I told him of my graduation, and India, and I’ve invited him round to chat with my Babaji and have a look at my India pictures, hopefully he’ll come round one day.

I remember when I found out my classification for my degree. I was so relieved but at the same time felt kind of weird. I went to the Gurdwara that day and happened to see him, with a few words he turned my whole day around, without even knowing it. Guru Sahib knew though, and that’s why it happened. Once again I left the Gurdwara feeling particularly happy.

It’s not often you make friends with someone like Babaji. He has a lot of wisdom and kindness to share, and for that I am grateful.

Much love to My Good Friend!

DOCTOR WHO IS BACK AND I THOUGHT IT’S ABOUT TIME I COME BACK TOO.

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“It’s hard to talk about the importance of an imaginary hero. But heroes ARE important: Heroes tell us something about ourselves. History tells us who we used to be, documentaries tell us who we are now; but heroes tell us who we WANT to be. And a lot of our heroes depress me. But when they made this particular hero, they didn’t give him a gun—they gave him a screwdriver to fix things. They didn’t give him a tank or a warship or an x-wing fighter—they gave him a box from which you can call for help. And they didn’t give him a superpower or pointy ears or a heat-ray—they gave him an extra HEART. They gave him two hearts! And that’s an extraordinary thing. There will never come a time when we don’t need a hero like the Doctor.” 

― Steven Moffat

The above pretty much sums up why I love the Doctor so much. That and his love for the Human Race, which restores my faith in humanity, and always makes me hopeful that things will be ok again, despite what we hear on the news.

Taking a Break

I can safely say I’ll be graduating with a 2:1.

Having hit all my goals for this year. I am happy to now continue living with no major aim. It feels good.

I have many thoughts run through my head on a daily basis, but I am having better control over them now. I hope.

I really must learn to be PATIENT. This is crucial for the well being of my soul.

I’ve come to realise that I do not choose the people in my life, the people in my life are the ones who choose to be in it.

One must surrender themselves to the creator.

In the end it’s all Hukam.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading. Thank you for the kind messages. I love you fellow tumblr-ers.

Excelsior: Ever Upward.

Don’t get caught in the safety net. It’s a trap.

I left in search not knowing what I’d find

All I knew was I was ready to leave it all behind.

Finally, air.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

Sikhi, The Game of Love

Brilliant blog, you gotta check it out.

rejectedprincesses:

Introducing the eleventh Rejected Princess: Mai Bhago, 18th century Sikh warrior-saint and only survivor of the Battle of Khidrana.
A quick bit of background, since it may be that you, like me, do not know a ton about Sikhs. You probably know that they’re the guys who wear turbans, don’t shave, and consistently get mistaken for Muslim — usually by ignorant douchebags who are trying to start something. Frustrating as that is, douchebags attacking them for virtually no reason is something that Sikhs have had to live with for the majority of the religion’s existence. Exhibit A: the Mughal Empire.
The Mughals were badasses. Their founder, Babar, had quite the lineage to begin with: descendant of Tamerlane (an Uzbeki warlord known for constructing pyramids out of his enemies’ skulls) on his father’s side and grandson of Genghis Khan on his mother’s. The Mughals continued this badass legacy. Rode elephants into battle (well, their founder was named Babar), killed deserters by strapping them to cannons and firing, that sort of thing. Best known for conquering all of India, building the Taj Mahal, and, most important to this story, persecuting the crap out of Sikhs - mostly because the Sikh weren’t down with the Mughal-instituted caste system. In fact, they were super egalitarian in general, with women considered equals to men.
Which brings us to Mai Bhago. Sorry for the long intro, I just want you to know who she was up against. 
Mai lived in a peaceful rural town with her parents. She spent a lot of time with her dad, who, in their daddy-daughter hangouts taught her what any good father should: how to be a devoted Sikh, how to ride a horse, and how to kill anyone who starts shit with your people. All of these came in handy just a few years later, when the leader of the Sikh, Guru Gobind Singh, founded the Khalsa — the warrior-saints.
You see, the previous Guru before Gobind Singh — and there were only ever ten of these guys to ever live, with Gobind being number ten — was executed by the Mughals when Gobind was nine years old. Rather than capitulating to the Mughals and living a quiet life, Gobind ordered his followers to eschew the caste system, forsake their family names, be baptized as warrior-saints, and kick ass for the lord.
Mai Bhago was one of the first to get down on that.
The following years were very difficult on the Sikhs, with the Mughals waging nonstop warfare on the Guru. As tough as it was on him, it was arguably tougher on his warriors, holed up in fortress after fortress, eventually subsisting on nothing but nuts and leaves. After months of this, with heavy hearts, forty of them forsook the religion and left the Khalsa, in order to return to their normal lives.
Mai Bhago was having none of that shit. Upon hearing about the forty deserters, she rode to every city around and got all of the women to refuse any hospitality to them. She even rounded up a group of women to take up arms in the deserters’ place — telling the forty to either stay behind and look after the children or sack up and fight. Suitably ashamed by this, the forty deserters had a change of heart and decided to rejoin Gobind Singh’s cause.
Just in time, too — because as the forty (plus Mai) were riding back to the Guru, the Mughals were making another assault on his stronghold. The size of the army is difficult to determine from historical records, with the only source I can find claiming the Mughals had ten thousand men, which seems a bit ridiculous. In any event, it is agreed that the Sikhs were massively outnumbered. 
On December 29, 1705, the forty-one Sikhs rushed in to cut off the Mughals anyway. They did several clever things in and leading up to the battle:
1) Positioned themselves in front of the Khirdana reservoir, the only source of water for miles around, and defended it viciously.
2) Laid sheets  across bushes everywhere, giving the appearance of tents — and then hid in nearby bushes, ambushing the Mughals when they started attacking the empty “tents”. 
3) Kicked up a colossal amount of dust, attracting the attention of the retreating Guru — who proceeded to unleash an unholy hell of arrows from a nearby hill upon the Mughals.
Eventually the Mughals, battered and thirsty, withdrew. All forty of the deserters died in that battle, as did a large number of Mughal soldiers. Mai Bhago was the only Sikh survivor. From there, she became bodyguard to Guru Gobind Singh, last living guru in Sikh history. She outlived the old man and later died of old age herself. The Mughal Empire died out a bit over a century later, and the Sikh religion continues strong to this day. Her spear and gun can still be found in Sikh museums, and her house has been converted into a temple. 
And lastly: although best known by the name Mai Bhago, technically her name, after converting to Khalsa, was Mai Bhag Kaur — Kaur being a surname all female Khalsa take, meaning, literally, “princess.”
Art notes: She is depicted here not just wearing the traditional Khalsa clothing, but that of the Nihang, an elite warrior Khalsa sect. This outfit includes a variety of bladed weapons (the Guru was known to have five weapons on him at all times), electric blue robes, steel-wrapped turbans, and steel bangles about the wrist. I am unsure if she was technically Nihang, but for damn sure she had their spirit.
And yes, she is decapitating that guy. Follow the trail of dust to see the arc of her sword. She has her sword and shield on the same arm, up around her shoulder. Realistically, I should have put the shield on her other arm, but hindsight is 20/20.
Lastly: the Mughal being beheaded has period-accurate clothing, although his helmet is one of an infantryman and his outfit is that of a cavalryman. I wanted to be able to see his face.

rejectedprincesses:

Introducing the eleventh Rejected Princess: Mai Bhago, 18th century Sikh warrior-saint and only survivor of the Battle of Khidrana.

A quick bit of background, since it may be that you, like me, do not know a ton about Sikhs. You probably know that they’re the guys who wear turbans, don’t shave, and consistently get mistaken for Muslim — usually by ignorant douchebags who are trying to start something. Frustrating as that is, douchebags attacking them for virtually no reason is something that Sikhs have had to live with for the majority of the religion’s existence. Exhibit A: the Mughal Empire.

The Mughals were badasses. Their founder, Babar, had quite the lineage to begin with: descendant of Tamerlane (an Uzbeki warlord known for constructing pyramids out of his enemies’ skulls) on his father’s side and grandson of Genghis Khan on his mother’s. The Mughals continued this badass legacy. Rode elephants into battle (well, their founder was named Babar), killed deserters by strapping them to cannons and firing, that sort of thing. Best known for conquering all of India, building the Taj Mahal, and, most important to this story, persecuting the crap out of Sikhs - mostly because the Sikh weren’t down with the Mughal-instituted caste system. In fact, they were super egalitarian in general, with women considered equals to men.

Which brings us to Mai Bhago. Sorry for the long intro, I just want you to know who she was up against. 

Mai lived in a peaceful rural town with her parents. She spent a lot of time with her dad, who, in their daddy-daughter hangouts taught her what any good father should: how to be a devoted Sikh, how to ride a horse, and how to kill anyone who starts shit with your people. All of these came in handy just a few years later, when the leader of the Sikh, Guru Gobind Singh, founded the Khalsa — the warrior-saints.

You see, the previous Guru before Gobind Singh — and there were only ever ten of these guys to ever live, with Gobind being number ten — was executed by the Mughals when Gobind was nine years old. Rather than capitulating to the Mughals and living a quiet life, Gobind ordered his followers to eschew the caste system, forsake their family names, be baptized as warrior-saints, and kick ass for the lord.

Mai Bhago was one of the first to get down on that.

The following years were very difficult on the Sikhs, with the Mughals waging nonstop warfare on the Guru. As tough as it was on him, it was arguably tougher on his warriors, holed up in fortress after fortress, eventually subsisting on nothing but nuts and leaves. After months of this, with heavy hearts, forty of them forsook the religion and left the Khalsa, in order to return to their normal lives.

Mai Bhago was having none of that shit. Upon hearing about the forty deserters, she rode to every city around and got all of the women to refuse any hospitality to them. She even rounded up a group of women to take up arms in the deserters’ place — telling the forty to either stay behind and look after the children or sack up and fight. Suitably ashamed by this, the forty deserters had a change of heart and decided to rejoin Gobind Singh’s cause.

Just in time, too — because as the forty (plus Mai) were riding back to the Guru, the Mughals were making another assault on his stronghold. The size of the army is difficult to determine from historical records, with the only source I can find claiming the Mughals had ten thousand men, which seems a bit ridiculous. In any event, it is agreed that the Sikhs were massively outnumbered. 

On December 29, 1705, the forty-one Sikhs rushed in to cut off the Mughals anyway. They did several clever things in and leading up to the battle:

1) Positioned themselves in front of the Khirdana reservoir, the only source of water for miles around, and defended it viciously.

2) Laid sheets  across bushes everywhere, giving the appearance of tents — and then hid in nearby bushes, ambushing the Mughals when they started attacking the empty “tents”. 

3) Kicked up a colossal amount of dust, attracting the attention of the retreating Guru — who proceeded to unleash an unholy hell of arrows from a nearby hill upon the Mughals.

Eventually the Mughals, battered and thirsty, withdrew. All forty of the deserters died in that battle, as did a large number of Mughal soldiers. Mai Bhago was the only Sikh survivor. From there, she became bodyguard to Guru Gobind Singh, last living guru in Sikh history. She outlived the old man and later died of old age herself. The Mughal Empire died out a bit over a century later, and the Sikh religion continues strong to this day. Her spear and gun can still be found in Sikh museums, and her house has been converted into a temple. 

And lastly: although best known by the name Mai Bhago, technically her name, after converting to Khalsa, was Mai Bhag Kaur — Kaur being a surname all female Khalsa take, meaning, literally, “princess.”

Art notes: She is depicted here not just wearing the traditional Khalsa clothing, but that of the Nihang, an elite warrior Khalsa sect. This outfit includes a variety of bladed weapons (the Guru was known to have five weapons on him at all times), electric blue robes, steel-wrapped turbans, and steel bangles about the wrist. I am unsure if she was technically Nihang, but for damn sure she had their spirit.

And yes, she is decapitating that guy. Follow the trail of dust to see the arc of her sword. She has her sword and shield on the same arm, up around her shoulder. Realistically, I should have put the shield on her other arm, but hindsight is 20/20.

Lastly: the Mughal being beheaded has period-accurate clothing, although his helmet is one of an infantryman and his outfit is that of a cavalryman. I wanted to be able to see his face.

I had to lie today. It was the only way to get what I needed. Didn’t feel good. But I know it’s much better this way.

scientificdivinity:

Inner peace means, you are at peace, no matter what is happening in the outside world. For example, a paramedic cannot panic and get anxiety at an emergency situation. They have an inner peace that allows them to be in that situation, but not OF that situation. We can all do this at all times, be in and experience every situation, but not be defined by it. You see, at some point, we come to the realization than nothing in life is actually happening to us. It’s just an experience, and we are here to experience it. It’s no different that going to a movie and going through a roller coaster of emotions during that movie, and then it ends and we realize that none of it actually happened to us. Even if we are wiping tears off our face at the end. It’s all just an experience, inner peace, come through knowing that. By just being and accept what is. No aversions, no attachments. Just being. You have unconditional love for all.

The Bling Foundation turned 2 today!
^^ There&#8217;s a cupcake and everything. 2 years ago I was this sad little person&#8230; now look where I am. Thanks tumblr.

The Bling Foundation turned 2 today!

^^ There’s a cupcake and everything. 2 years ago I was this sad little person… now look where I am. Thanks tumblr.

Thou Shalt Love Thyself.