Feeling a little wound up so I thought let it out on here before it zaps all my energy and I don’t finish my work.
My parents treated all the kids in the family as their own, and still do although a lot of us are much older. My sisters and I never really got the same treatment from other adult family members, but that was ok. Growing up we’ve been pretty lucky.
Still family politics has evidently got in the way of my relationship with my cousins, and in all honestly the root of the problem is that the adults in the family didn’t always get on. So naturally, its affected us kids.
Jealousy. So many jealous aunties I don’t know where to begin. Always so fake. Always comparing. Pretending they like you when really they’re just making little mental notes of how their kids can outdo you. Though I really have no idea what they could be jealous of, this always confused me.
In the Asian community there’s a lot of emphasis on the importance of family. I wish things were different but I’ve realised it’s all just a show. I hope things are different for my kids, but the only way that will happen is if I learn to put every thing aside so my relationships don’t affect theirs.
It’s not much different from some “friendships” really. When you do anything for someone and they don’t give much thought to you. I shouldn’t let it bother me much. I guess it’s just when I see family, which is quite regularly, I can’t help but think of what it should be like.
No point waiting until something “bad” happens to start making an effort to fulfil the family role you have.
Never really had older sibling figures in my life, had plenty of older cousins there but they don’t care. Though I’m not the eldest out of the kids, I try and be there for all my little sisters, brothers, nephews and nieces. The way that I wished someone was there for me. I’m not around all the time, but when I see them I make sure they understand I’m happy to help whenever. Kids are so much easier.
I just need to focus on the adults and cousins my generation. And not let it bother me as much. Maybe focus less and just let it be. I have plenty of other great people in my life, who I can turn to for guidance.
I’m not a people pleaser, I never have been. This doesn’t mean that we can’t get along. It just means that I’m not going to pretend, and if need be I will do the right thing or what I want as long as it doesn’t harm you, regardless of what the rest of you think.
I guess what I’m trying to say is.
I’m not gonna sit and plan a hen do for my wedding which is apparently going to be the first out of us when the majority of the family don’t give a crap.